TPR chap 49- love hurts!
Hello sheelloooooooooooooooo another Sunday Sundae for your reading pleasure. I hope you are enjoying the current track. Sighs….and torment…relationships are such hard work! We are always getting the wrong end of the stick with the ones we love..but making up is sweet right? Do comment love to read and reply ;)) Heading towards 65K Dang Hot! WOW when I started this blog I didnt think it would get anywhere much but you guys have always supported me so a BIG thank you to you all!
“ I am nothing, if you are not there.” Jane.
Standing in the middle of the large room he focused. He focused his mind, trying to blank out the pain, mistrust and restlessness. But it would not leave him. Furious with himself he started his kata, every move stiff full of anger and hurt. The pace he set was fast and furious. Arms and legs moving with grace and maximum efficiency, even thought his mind was turbulent his body knew the moves.
She watched from a distance. Silvery light from the moon danced around the room. Diaphanous white curtains fluttered in the light breeze looking like doves in flight. She felt her heart thump so loud she was sure he could hear it. Its wild staccato beat threatening to overwhelm her. She wanted to reach out and touch him and yet she was glued to the spot where she stood, watching him like this took her breath away. She still couldn’t believe that he was hers. Her Maan.
There was such an untamed air about him tonight. This was Maan, primitive, male, wild. His usual tight control stripped by the intensity of his emotions. Every signal he was sending out said don’t come near me in volumes. His eyes so dark and intense, his jaw set, his posture rigid, he was building a restricted zone around himself that few would dare to even think about crossing, but she had come down to get him to talk to her and she wasn’t about to run away.
Stepping out into the hall she stood facing him.
Breathing hard he stilled and started at her so hard she reeled and almost stepped back form it.
“Geet! Chale jawo yaha se! Get lost!” His sentence all but vibrated with fury.
Barefoot, and wearing her white salwar khameez, she looked all pink and flushed from the shower. Her skin glowed, his fingers itched to stroke its petal softness and stroke through the damp wet hair that was making wet trails across her chest, resisting the temptation he clenched his fists.
“No.” her quiet but firm response infuriated him.
“Meine kaha GO away Geet!” he stepped towards her like a vengeful god giving his victim a last chance before he attacked.
“That’s the trouble with you Geet, you just don’t know when to back off.”
“And that’s the trouble with you Maan is that you know there was nothing else I could have done but you still feel I was in the wrong.”
He moved so fast grabbing her from the upper arms and pushing her back none to gently against a wall.
“Haan! And why shouldn’t I feel that way?” Blazing his eyes pinned her for an answer.
“I couldn’t go against daadima’s wishes.” His fingers bit into her soft flesh but she didn’t feel the physical pain, it was the pain in his eyes that had her shaking.
“But you didn’t care a jot about your husbands!”
“Maan!” Her eyes intense, she dared him to say that again. Her look stripped him bare daring him to deny what he knew she felt for him, for him to throw her love back in her face, she saw him clench his jaw and reign back his temper.
Losing himself in her eyes for a second he almost gave in. No! He turned away from her flinging her back against the wall as if he were discarding her, he completely turned his back on her.
“No! Geet you will not use your pleading eyes on me again. And neither will I succumb to the allure of your charming body.” Even as he said it his own screamed for release.
“How can you bring what’s between us into this!” Her outraged gasp queried as she moved to stand in front of him again. She pushed against his chest testing his control to the limit. She would not let him slink away back into his own grief. Because she realised that’s what it was now. The grief of finding out that all this time his father had been alive but never once in all these years had he sought Maan out. Pushing him against the wall she would not let him look away from her, her fingers dug into the latent strength of his fired up muscles pushing at him, her body blocking him from moving away.
“Because its true! You deliberately used your body to keep in ensnared under its sensual spell, that I lost sight of what is going on behind my back in my own house.”
Shocked to core at his words she reeled back from him as if stung. Her amber eyes searched his face but it was unrelenting.
“Maan, that’s not true and and you know it. Between us there is nothing but love. W….when I am in your arms I forget everything, nothing else matters. When..” her face flamed… “when you are making love to me I can’t even think, Maan all I can do is feel. All I can feel is the love between us. You have taken me to a such a special place, a place where nothing else exists but us, just us.”
For him it was the same. But he was not going to go there. He had every right to feel this way.
“I said to you that there would be NO secrets between us! And yet!” Anger coursed through him again, he pushed her out of the way, hearing her body hit the wall with a thump and strode out, angry with her, angry with himself, angry at everything.
“Maan! You cant run from this, you have to understand!”
But he didn’t even turn around. She had tried so hard to make him understand, but he just wasn’t listening. Heart breaking she ran barefoot out of the room not knowing where, not caring where. She knew he was so caught up in his grief but how could he just reject what they had together so easily. She had made him her world and thought she was his. Did he really think that she had used her love to ensnare him in a sensual spell.
Unconsciously her footsteps led to the terrace. She gazed at the perfect crescent that hung high in the sky and wept, only a few months ago he had so lovingly held her in his arms on the ornate swing, they had planned their lives together. Walking towards it she stumbled on a loose tile, the small cut oozed but she ignored it, the physical pain was nothing compared to her heart breaking.
Had she really done something so unforgivable? Curling up on the swing she cried out into the cool emptiness of the night.
He stalked back towards their room taking the stairs two at a time to find daadima knocking on it.
“Maan beta? Where is Geet? I want to talk to her.”
“She is downstairs.” He said gruffly.
“Maan! Why are you so angry with her? If anybody, you should be angry with me!” Her eyes homed in on his grim expression.
“Leave it daadima, I don’t want to talk about it.” He really didn’t need this right now.
“Nahi Beta! This is not right. Geet is not to blame and I want you to get that into your brain. Sometimes you let your stubbornness lead you down a path that leads nowhere. Until Geet came into your life I had lost hope of you ever finding love, but that girl, she changed everything. She loves you with her body and soul, there is not a bad bone in her body. Whatever she had done has always been for you. She even put her life in danger when she thought there was the slightest chance that Pandey would have hurt you. You seem to have forgotten that so easily? And because I asked her not to tell you she respected my wishes, is that such a crime? She loves and respects me, would you want it any other way? Don’t keep pushing her away and punishing her for something that is not even her fault.”
Giving him a glare that reminded him where he got his stubbornness from, Savitridevi walked off leaving him to stand there and stew.
He glared after her, now they were both ganging up on him! Muttering curses under his breath he strode into his room and headed for the shower twisting the lever viciously to icy cold.
The sharp cold spray cooled his body and and his mind. Geet’s eyes haunted him, the pleading heartbroken look in them as he had left her burned in his ice cold brain now. He stood under its punishing flow playing back the last few days and wondered if he had been too harsh with Geet. Yes, she had lied to him by omission but as daadima said she had wanted to tell him the truth but daadima had stopped her. And they had both done it to save him heartache.
Leaning against the wall he took a deep and much needed breath. He had been so wrapped up in own his hurt he had not seen the pain she had been through, yesterdays bout of crying, her efforts to show and tell him how much she loved him all came flooding back to him in a rush. She had known this news would devastate him and tried to save him from the hurt as much as she could. As always she had thought of him first even knowing that he would be incensed with her.
Guilt gnawed at his gut.
Switching the shower off he snagged a towel and padded to back to the room fully intending to say sorry but she wasn’t there. Glancing at the clock he frowned, it had been almost an hour since he had left her downstairs, it was late, where had she gone?’ Damn it why had he been so rough? Flinging her away like that she had almost bounced off the wall! He hadn’t even thought….what if she had been hurt? Was she lying in pain downstairs where he had left her? Grabbing his joggers he pulled them on and ran out of the room.
‘Geet!’ He ran to the outhouse but the place was empty, taking the stairs two at a time he checked out the bedroom to find it empty as well. Now he was really worried.
Where had she gone? He stood for a moment collecting his fearful thoughts and used logic. Sighing with relief as the solution came to him he walked towards the terrace.
He found her curled up on the swing fast asleep. The moonlight shone on her face pointing out the tear tracks that he had started, driving the nail deeper into his guilt. For a moment he stood just absorbing her beauty until he realised that she was cold, her skin had goosebumps all over it. Bending he lifted her into his arms and hugged her close. Her damp hair had made her khameez all wet making her shiver in his arms.
She snuggled closer to him seeking out his warmth as he carried her quietly back to their room. She had as usual fallen into a deep sleep, he knew not much would wake her now. Laying her on the bed he gently removed her wet top going to the cupboard to get a dry one but by the time he came back she was curled up tightly it was then he noticed the blood on the sheets and saw her foot was bleeding. Muttering curses he went to get a damp towel dabbing the cut clean. It didn’t look too bad so he put some ointment on it and left it to heal, gently pulling the covers over her. Her payal tinkled and his felt his heart rip she was wearing the one with the pearl drops. Hadn’t he said to her they reminded him of her tears?
Cursing himself he lay on the bed next to her without touching her. Not that he didn’t want to but he had to clear the air between them first. He had made her shed so many tears tonight. It was all because of his father. The man hadn’t even entered the house and already he was causing trouble in their lives. Brooding he stared darkly into her face, was this a warning of what was about to come?